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They
were every schoolgirl's teen dream, and a fair few mums' too.
Then one of them came out - and nothing changed. Boyzone's
prettiest boy talks exclusively to Attitude's Matthew Todd on the
back seat of a car on the way to the airport.
Back in 1994, when five Irish teenagers popped up with a cover of
an old Osmonds' track, it was hardly surprising they were written
off as just another in the long line of Take That wannabies who
would momentarily trouble the charts before disappearing to the
boyband graveyard in the sky. The freshly-scrubbed face, cutesome
dance routines and relentless pasteurised pop barely broke new
ground. Yet five years and 15 million records later, and Boyzone
have become nothing less than a national institution.
Hardly a 'boy' band any longer, a carefully constructed game plan
has seen them mature into wholesome, middle of the road
entertainers - virtual paragons of family value. In 1998, crooner
and TV host Ronan Keating's marriage and baby brought the total
of Boyzone daddies to three. As other bands crashed in a flurry
of booze and drugs, the light entertainment rollercoaster that
was Boyzone remained free from even the merest whiff of scandal.
While Robbie Williams looked like he might end up in intensive
care, Boyzone were in Mothercare queuing for booties. Even little
Stephen Gately, the only one of the lads to remain suspiciously
single, became a public face of one of the biggest family
orientated companies in the world, singing the theme tune to
Disney movie Hercules.
And then it happened. In early June of this year, someone
contacted the tabloids offering to sell 'the truth' about Stephen
Gately's sexuality. Frantic meetings ensued, ending with Stephen
deciding to tell his own story in a n exclusive interview with
The Sun. 'I am gay and I'm in love' declared the front page
headline on Wednesday 16th June 1999 and a nation held their
breath. Would he be condemned? Would church leaders burn Boyzone
records in the street? Or would a public, fresh from accepting
the 'What's the big deal?' attitude of George Michael, simply
accept it and move on without much fuss, save a few broken
teenage hearts?
In the event, even the most optimistic gay commentators must have
been shocked at the scale of the reaction. Instead of slashing
their wrists, adolescent fans rushed to phone in their messages
of support. The Sun's next day edition even included comments
from 8 year old children who'd had to have the word 'gay'
explained to them by their mummies and daddies - but still loved
Stephen anyway. And this was The Sun - a paper which 11 years
before had been calling for the heads of homosexuals as
corrupters of youth and vectors of disease.
And all the while, the boys' greatest hits album, By Request,
(released two weeks earlier), remained virtually immobile at the
top of the charts, selling more copies in those early weeks that
the rest of the top ten put together. So much for coming out
ruining a bands' sales potential.
Three weeks later, Boyzone's first public appearance since
Gately's outing was at 'Party In The Park', a benefit concert in
London's Hyde Park. Stephen got the most riotous reception of the
day. Fathers wolf-whistled in affectionate jest, mums and kids
cheered their approval of his honesty. Meanwhile, the teen press
clamoured to sing his praises. Smash Hits carried the first
post-outing interview, openly discussing his sexuality and
relationship, commenting on how much in love these two young men
are. Revolutionary stuff.
Today, giving his first adult interview since the news broke,
Stephen flies in from his boyfriend's side in Holland, where
he'll return as soon as we've finished. He's still obviously
anxious to be seen as the amiable family figures that he always
was and in conversation is guarded, giving very little away, so
as not to stray past the line of what he thinks his audiences
will find acceptable. His forthcoming solo projects won't be
cutting edge social political comment, but Bright Eyes (from the
animated TV remake of Watership Down) will be huge.
And this is exactly what makes his coming out all the more
important. In terms of representation and visibility, Gately, in
all his childlike simplicity, is the antithesis to Queer As Folk,
George Michael and Chris Smith. As positive as they all are, they
don't reach in the same way, the most important people in the
wider picture here - kids. Those 8 year olds now all know what
gay is. Kids, regardless of sexuality have been introduced to the
idea that not everyone loves people of the opposite sex and wow,
it's not a big deal, it's not bad, it's not evil, it's not even
that different. Ironically in the coming year when Section 28
looks set to (possibly) go, Stephen Gately and the overwhelmingly
positive media response has rendered that law more meaningless
than ever before.
What difference has coming out made to your life?
It's been a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm more relaxed
because I don't have to hide who I am or hide Eloy anymore and
it's made me happier within myself. Loads of people have noticed
it. Of course Eloy was in a big band as well [ the ironically
named 'Caught In The Act'] so he was coming out at the same time
and it was a big deal for him too.
So has he had any of your fans trying to scratch his eyes out?
(Laughs) No, no, they've been really supportive. The Boyzone fans
ask for a picture of him and an autograph and all his fans do the
same with me. It's been a great time for us.
How long have you been with Eloy now?
(He beams, widely) About 13 months and it's definitely made it
easier for me to bear. He's a helluva great guy. He's got a heart
of gold - the most amazing man I've ever come across. He's
stunning looking, too. He's 6ft 3 and I'm 5ft 7, but we gel
really well and have a laugh together. We've actually known each
other about four and a half years now.
How did you first meet?
In the business. He's big in Germany and we met when I was doing
promotion with the band. He didn't know anything about me, I
didn't know anything about him, I just thought he was a really
nice guy. Then we kept meeting each other every six months or so
and became really good mates.
How did you realise that he was gay and vice versa?
[Blushes] We just knew. I never said 'Oh are you gay then?'. It
was a feeling [Smiles].
You live together now, don't you?
(Nods) We have a house in Holland just outside of Amsterdam where
he comes from. And we have a place in Ireland when I'm working
here.
How do you spend your time together?
We don't go out to clubs, I hate clubs I never go dancing. We
tend to do things like go to the movies or watch a video at home.
Lake last night, we stayed in with a bottle of wine and watched
Patch Adams. We walk our dog together, a little Schit-zhu called
Joey, and just do everyday things. We're not into going out and
coming in at 2 or 3 in the morning I'd rather go out early for a
meal, have a glass of wine and come home. I'm not a majorly
nineties person - I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to things
like that but that's just me, I enjoy it. Plus this lifestyle is
so busy - you're constantly doing interviews or flying around or
rehearsing. I have a day off tomorrow so I'll probably get up,
chuck on a tracksuit and a coat and we'll drive down to the beach
and take Joey for a walk, have some lunch and do simple, nice
little things. Any time that we have together, we make the most
of - we're never, ever apart anywhere that I go unless it's work.
We're very, very happy together . and it's great. It's everything
I've always wanted.
You sound like a married couple
(He pauses) Well yeah . just a normal couple.
Do you see it as being for life?
I hope so. I want it to be.
We hear a lot about how difficult it is to be gay in the
entertainment industry. What was it like for you?
Well, I remember when I was first joining the group. I knew I was
gay but I wasn't going to say 'Oh, you know I'm gay' because I'd
be knocking an opportunity.
What would have happened if you had?
Because I didn't know the lads them I didn't know what to expect.
They could have asked me to leave. Looking back, I now know
different.
How long was it before you came out to the band and the
manager and the people around you? That must have been difficult.
No, no it wasn't. The lads have always known and have always been
cool about it, we've always had a laugh about it. They've seen
how difficult it's been for me on a day to day basis and they
think 'Good on ya.' They've had girlfriends and gotten married so
they understand in a way.
Understand what? The pressures of having to hide relationships
from your fans?
No, no, they never did that. None of us ever had to hide. With me
it was by choice but they didn't hide their girlfriends or
anything like that. We broke a lot of boundaries for boybands -
three of us have kids, some of us got married, all those things
which don't normally happen. We broke all those barriers - you
couldn't have a drink, you couldn't smoke. I don't think it could
have worked for us with all those restrictions on us.
So, how did you come out to the rest of the band?
I just sat down with them and said 'you know lads, there's
something I've got to tell you' and they were really cool.
When was that?
Very early on. About a couple of months after I joined the band I
think.
Were they worried? Did they think it would damage the
prospects of the band?
No, no, no, not at all. They were just really cool, like I've
said. We've always gotten on fantastically well. People just look
and say 'I can't believe after all this time you can still laugh
and joke, you can still stand each other' but we do, we're as
close as brothers.
But you were all there because you wanted to be successful and
famous, you wanted to be popstars. There must have been a lot of
pressure put on you by management and people around you to make
sure no one found out ?
No, no! They all left it to me. In fact, the lads encouraged me
to come out earlier. They would say 'You know what, I think you
should, and some time soon' and I said 'No, I'm not ready for it
yet, I'm really not ready'. They said it'd be a lot more relaxing
for me. 'You'll have your family, you'll have your fans, you'll
have your friends and you'll have us. We'll stick by you, what
more do you need?'. I was nervous because I didn't know which way
things would go whether I would be accepted or whether I would be
completely rejected by everyone.
A lot has been said about how your sexuality was an open
secret. What was it like thinking the press could break the story
at any moment?
It was really difficult for a couple of years and, it's difficult
when every night you go to bed thinking 'Shit, what's going to be
in the paper the next day, will they find out?'. Magazines always
asked me about settling down and I would say 'When I meet the
right person and fall in love'. I never said when I meet the
right girl because I didn't want to blatantly lie, I tried to be
an honest person. There was a lot of pressure when the guys were
all getting girlfriends and they'd say 'You're the only member
left, what's happened?'
You did an interview in Attitude back in October 1997.
Yeah and we've played at G.A.Y. every year since we started. I
really have a laugh there and we all really enjoy it. With
Attitude, I just remember being really jealous that Ronan got the
cover.
Sorry.
That's Ok. (Laughs) I like doing interviews and as much as I
might have dreaded being asked certain questions I still
remembered that there's a big audience out there who might be gay
and it's important to remember them. I did try to be as honest as
I could.
In that interview, we asked you if you ever fancied a boy. You
said 'There are people you look up to, admire. in the industry.
But fancy.? You might say they're good looking but it's a
different thing. Actors like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise or actresses
like Demi Moore and Meg Ryan - they're all really beautiful
looking'. Looking back, what are your thoughts about that answer?
I remember that question because they only asked me that and not
the others. I came out of that interview and went to the lads
'Did they ask you that question?'. 'No, it was only me? Oh shit
(laughs manically) They know, they know!! I just tried to answer
the best way I could without saying, or not saying.
So do you have a thing for Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise?
They're both good looking men. (Looks a bit stern) But I don't
have a thing for them.
Lots of famous people have come out over the last decade. What
was it like for you when people like, say Michael Barrymore came
out and for a few days it was front pate news and every one was
talking about it?
I was very, very frightening but I try not to look back at that.
I just feel sorry for anybody else within the business who is gay
and feels trapped - it can be really awful worrying all the time
and people might not handle it as well as I did.
When was the first point that you realised that you were going
to have to come out?
It was in Holland and I got a call from my press officer saying
someone was trying to sell a story to the press. I sat down and
thought about it and I decided I'd rather someone didn't make any
money from selling a story about me, I'd rather tell the fans
myself. I think it's time.
There's been a lot of speculation about the mechanic of it,
that you were forced.?
I know, but at the end of the day nobody forced me, it was my
decision. Things could have come out at any time and people could
have said whatever they wanted but I wanted people to hear what I
had to say. And at the end of the day, everything was done the
way I wanted it to be done, let's put it like that. And I wasn't
forced at all.
You weren't forced at all?
Absolutely not. The Sun have been great, they've really helped
me. Actually all the papers. We have a very young audience and
they were very sympathetic towards all of the different
audiences.
Was there any point when the pressure got too much?
At the time when I decided to do the story I remember suddenly
feeling that I wanted to cry. You know, I was scared. And then I
though well I can either break down and cry or stand up and be
strong about things and that's what I tried to do. It's my life
and you've only got one; you could be knocked down by a bus
tomorrow. You should just get on with your life and try and do
the best you can.
It can be difficult to come out for a lot of people.
It's very difficult whether you're a doctor, a nurse, a student,
whoever you are. It can still be a real issue, even though it
shouldn't be. Late at night the night before the story broke,
sitting in the bedroom in a hotel, myself and Eloy were watching
Sky News and they said 'Lets have a look at tomorrow's papers'
and there I was on four front pages which was erm . quite a
shock. I'm just a normal lad from Dublin. Why is this going all
over the world? It was even in The New York Post. There are wars,
people dying and horrific things happening all over the world,
why not try and make that better, have a look at those issues?
There are more important things that someone's sexuality.
Were you scared when you did Party In The Park?
Yes I was but as soon as I got out there it was amazing. That was
when I know it would all be OK, the noise was deafening. I was so
grateful for everyone's support.
George Michael, in an award acceptance speech last year, said
'I want to be seen as a singer rather that just as a 'gay
singer'. Do you understand what he means by that?
(Nods) I'm just a normal guy with a normal life who just happened
to fall in love with another guy and I don't see what's wrong
with that. I'm a friendly guy, I've been very helpful to a lot of
people - I do a lot of things for charity, you know. I'm just me
and that's how people should see me.
Were you surprised at how positive the reaction was?
I got letters from all different walks of life - mums, dad,
children, male, female. I got a big book with over a thousand
messages from people left on the Internet, phonecalls from
everybody: George Michael phoned my managers office, I got
flowers from Elton John and David, Lily Savage, Graham Norton
wrote me a letter and it all meant so much to me. Hopefully it
won't hurt my career that much . (He stops to pause) maybe I'll
even gain some fans...
What do gay people say in their letters?
'You've done a lot for gay people and for teenagers or adults who
want to come out' and that's the really touching thing - that out
of something so controversial can come some good. I've had all
the letters shipped out to Holland and every morning when I get
up, I read two or three of them and I'm going to get through all
of them. Caroline (Boyzone's press officer) has brought me
another load today.
I read in Smash Hits that you got a letter from a young girl
who'd had a young friend who was bullied for being gay and he
killed himself. How does that affect you?
It's devastating. that bullying came come to that. You have to
stand up for what you believe in and be strong. If people are
knocking you, there are tons of other people out there who won't.
Were you ever bullied at school for being gay?
No. I was one of the smallest but I was friends with everyone. I
was lucky.
How do you feel about being a role model to a lot of gay kids?
(He pauses to think, potential front page headlines obviously
whirling through his mind). I'm just me basically. I'm just
Stephen that's all I am or ever will be. I don't want to be
anyone else. I just want to be happy and if I can help people in
any way that's great, good. I'm thrilled I can do that for
whoever it might be.
You came out to your family a year after joining the band. How
did they react?
It was difficult at the time - they were shocked at first. I was
one of those who believed I wouldn't be accepted. You grow up
thinking 'Oh, this is the worst thing that's ever going to
happen, what am I going to do?' but they were cool. They said 'We
love you, you're our son' and I think they understood it wasn't a
bad thing. There are a lot of worse things that could happen.
How do you plan to see in the new Millennium?
We're just going to have a nice dinner at home in Holland with
both our families, and the dog. Mine are flying over. Eloy's an
excellent cook. Reading's my thing, cooking is his. [Pauses]
Which is handy.
It sounds like you've got it all really, haven't you?
I've been very lucky, I've been blessed. (He pauses) So, will you
say nice things? What headline will you put on the cover?
I dunno. We might put 'We hate Stephen Gately, he's got it
all.'
(He laughs and then looks serene as his mind drifts.) I'm really
pleased with all the support I've received. I'm really looking
forward to next year now - it's going to be really busy for me
and hopefully successful as well. I hope people enjoy what I'm
doing and see me the way I am. It's all I've ever wanted.
thank you Susan for this article! Find her site on the links page!